Porridge is our joy
If your baby refuses to eat porridge, then it is just porridge. And who would eat such an ordinary one?!
For the baby it is of great importance:
- The appearance of the porridge, that is, its design. Be inspired by the experience of professional restaurateurs and fantasize yourself. Be sure to alternate porridges: on Monday – buckwheat, Tuesday – corn, Wednesday – oatmeal and so on.
- Come up with your own fascinating tales with each porridge, and only after the next spoon tell the continuation.
- Follow the principle: more fruit - less porridge, and your baby will definitely appreciate it.
Children very sensitively feel the mood of their parents, especially their mother. Be wise and patient in everything and always. Don't take it out on your children. And you will see that after some time your baby will come to you on his own and say: “Mom, I’m sorry, please, I won’t do this again!”
We really hope that our simple tips will be useful to you.
Extrinsic motivation
Many parents are faced with the problem of lack of motivation in their children.
They don’t understand why they need to study well and learn something new. Parents begin to include in the educational process various methods of encouragement, rewards for good grades, behavior, and help with housework. It seems that such external motivation is the best solution to problems! But children, who are actively stimulated with pocket money and various gifts, still continue to get bad marks and start fights in class. Why doesn't such a system work? Let's look at the topic of motivation for children. External motivation of a child can only work at the very beginning, when enthusiasm has not yet faded. Then the whole process is perceived only from the point of view of the final result - the reward. Therefore, instead of spending a long time preparing for a school report, you can simply download a ready-made one from the Internet. And instead of studying for a test, you can copy everything from your neighbor’s excellent student. After all, such a system of rewards can give rise to the idea in the student’s head that the main thing is not the knowledge acquired during the learning process, but the grade in the diary, for which parents will praise. Psychologist Alfie Kohn writes about this incorrect method of education in his book and calls this system “Punishment with reward.”
How to learn a poem
To begin with, we present to your attention ways to memorize a poem with preschoolers:
Method 1. Teach with expression, loudly, emotionally
Immerse your child in the beauty of poetic form, and he is unlikely to refuse you.
Method 2. Draw poetry
Make your own illustration of the poem, indicate the authors and age. Keep a separate folder for such drawings and sign all works. Then, looking through the pictures, try to reproduce the previously memorized poems from memory.
Method
3. Tape recorder
Tell the child that the book needs to be given to neighbor Masha, and now while we have it, let’s turn on our tape recorder in our heads and record a poem. Read the phrases several times - record them on a tape recorder. And so verse after verse.
Love for work
Introducing a child to work is not an easy task, but there are also little tricks to cope with this task.
Tell your children about your work (why you fill the washing machine and why you need a vacuum cleaner in the house), teach your children through play. To begin with, let the child next to you pretend to wash the children's dishes, wipe the floors (as best he can, as he wants) - repeating after his mother. For example, our three-year-old son already skillfully handles a vacuum cleaner (we trust him with household appliances that are easy to operate, having first taught him how to use them). Also, our son can choose and start the desired mode of the washing machine himself, loading it together with his mother.
You can also get involved in work using the following techniques:
- A positive example (seeing how mom and dad are constantly learning something new themselves, getting real pleasure from it, the child will certainly want to be like you)
- Stories of secrets (about cooking, the intricacies of everyday life or men's work)
- A reward for each errand (buying a small toy, going to an amusement park for children)
- Praise (do not spare kind words for children, and do not criticize in any way)
Intrinsic motivation
Intrinsic motivation is stimulated by the fact that the child likes what he does. He himself wants to read the assigned book, write an essay on the proposed topic, learn new words in a foreign language. It is difficult to do something without internal motivation; most often it will be violence against oneself.
Intrinsic motivation helps you look for a creative approach to solving a problem, rather than taking the shortest route just for the sake of the result.
Often there is no internal motivation for children to study, because the child cannot understand why he needs to learn to identify roots, know physics formulas or the names of chemical elements that most likely will not be useful to him in later life. Talk to your child, find out about his plans for the future. What profession would he like to choose? Maybe some of his school knowledge really won’t be useful to him in the future and it’s not worth cramming something that wastes a colossal amount of mental strength. Focus on those subjects for which the child shows ability (even if it's just physical education). But it’s also not worth getting bad marks in subjects you don’t like. Explain to children that for general development, each person must have a minimum knowledge base, which is taught at school - to speak their native language correctly, to be able to count in order to manage the family budget, to know the main events of world and domestic history, and so on. Therefore, even if the subject is not interesting, you need to study at least its basics. If the child himself cannot understand these basics, parents can help him or hire a tutor (after all, as adults, we ourselves do not remember all school subjects perfectly).
The use of motivation techniques in the educational process
A) “Help the toy”, the child achieves the learning goal by solving the problems of the toys. The creation of this motivation is based on this scheme:
1. The teacher says that the toy needs help, and only children can help it.
2. The teacher asks the children if they agree to help the toy.
3. The teacher offers to teach children to do what the toy requires, then the explanation and demonstration will interest the children.
4. During work, each child should have his own character - a mentee (or a toy - a mentee evaluates the child’s work and always praises the child.
6. After finishing work, it is advisable for the children to play with their charges.
7. With this motivation, the child acts as an assistant and protector, and it is appropriate to use it for teaching various practical skills.
B). Creating a problem situation
The teacher models a situation in which children are faced with a difficulty in their activity: in order to achieve their “children’s” goal, the child needs to perform a certain action, let’s call it a “trial” action. But the implementation of this “trial” action is based on that new knowledge (concept or method of action) that the child has yet to “discover” and which he does not yet have at the moment.
This raises a difficulty. The teacher, using a system of questions (“Could you?” - “Why couldn’t you?”) helps children gain experience in recording the difficulty and identifying its cause. Since the difficulty is personally significant for each child (it interferes with the achievement of his “childish” goal), children have an internal need to overcome it, that is, now a new goal associated with cognition (an educational task correlated with an “adult” goal ).
C) Using the subjective experience of a preschooler
To do this, the teacher, as a rule, includes children in a conversation that is necessarily related to their life experience and is personally significant for them. The sources of the formation of the situation can be real events occurring in the surrounding life (vivid natural phenomena, holidays, incidents in the lives of children and their families, events occurring in the life of a group), imaginary events, events described in fiction, etc. Key phrases of completion stage are the questions: “Do you want?”, “Can you?”.
D) Helping an adult - “Help me.” Here, the motive for children is communication with an adult, the opportunity to gain approval, as well as interest in joint activities that can be done together.
Creation of motivation is based on the following scheme:
1. The teacher tells the children that he is going to make something and asks the children to help him. He wonders how they can help him.
2. Each child is given a feasible task.
3. At the end, the teacher emphasizes that the result was achieved through joint efforts, that everyone came to it together.
D) “Teach me” - is based on the child’s desire to feel knowledgeable and capable.
The creation of this motivation is carried out according to this scheme:
1. The teacher informs the children that he is going to engage in some activity and asks the children to teach him this.
2. The teacher asks if they agree to help him.
3. Each child is given the opportunity to teach the teacher something to do.
4. At the end of the game, each child is given an assessment of his actions and must be praised.
E) “Creating objects with your own hands for yourself is based on the child’s inner interest. This motivation encourages children to create objects and crafts for their own use or for their loved ones. Children are sincerely proud of their crafts and willingly use them.
This motivation is created according to the following scheme:
1. The teacher shows the children some kind of craft, reveals its advantages and asks if they would like to have the same one for themselves or for their relatives.
2. Next he shows everyone how to make this item.
3. The completed craft is given to the child. Pride in one’s own hands is the most important basis for a creative attitude to work. If the child is already busy with some activity of interest, and therefore already has the necessary motivation, you can introduce him to new ways to solve problems.
Process of involvement in activities:
1. Introduce something so that most children are interested.
2. Remove something, leaving an empty space (there are no dolls or cars left in the group, etc.)
3. Someone or a toy comes to visit.
4. The effect of surprise (noise, crackling, knocking...).
5. Do something unusual in the presence of children with a request to move away and not disturb (look closely out the window, etc.).
6. Intrigue (wait, after charging I’ll tell you; don’t look, I’ll show you after breakfast; don’t touch, it’s very fragile, it’ll ruin it; for example, it snowed, before the children arrive, hang a sheet on the window “Guys, don’t look yet, I have such a beautiful painting, we’ll talk about it later”).
7. Agree with the parents to dress the child in something of a certain color; the cook invites you over and asks you to do something; the music director promises interesting entertainment, but we need help with this.
8. A specially organized situation (replace all soap with pebbles, chalk with a lump of sugar).
9. The child’s birthday (teacher: “Guys, put the candy wrappers in the box, I need them for a surprise.” The children are interested: “Which one?”).
10. The teacher needs the children’s help in something specific, he makes a request to the children. If a boy or a shy child wants to say something, ask them first, and only then let the girls speak.
Conclusion.
When motivating children, the following principles should be observed:
-you cannot impose your vision on solving a problem on a child (maybe the child will have his own way of solving the problem)
- be sure to ask the child for permission to do a common activity with him.
- be sure to praise the child’s actions for the results obtained.
-acting together with your child, you introduce him to your plans
- ways to achieve them.
By following these rules, you give children new knowledge, teach them certain skills, and develop the necessary skills. Each activity should contain something that will cause surprise, amazement, delight, that children will remember for a long time. We must remember the saying “Knowledge begins with wonder.” It is important to take into account the age of the children; techniques that are suitable for younger - middle age, but not suitable for the older and preparatory groups.
Parental mistakes: what not to do?
Often people moving towards their goal give up because no one told them simple words: “You will succeed. I believe in you!". Sometimes this basic support is enough for motivation.
For some children, motivation disappears before it appears, while for others it loses its strength over time. Why does this happen? Let's talk about options for parental mistakes.
- Violence in education:
- physical violence;
- psychological violence (threats, suppression of personality, etc.).
- Lack of clear organization of the child’s life: there is no daily routine, the child is left to his own devices.
- There is no unity of demands on the part of the parents (mom prohibits, dad allows; with grandma it’s possible, parents won’t find out, etc.).
- Excessive demands on the child.
- Overprotection.
- Lack of attention to the child's preferences.
To summarize all of the above, I would like to wish you, dear parents, that you do not miss the opportunity to live your life, and not the life of a child: have your own interests, hobbies, hobbies, set goals for yourself and achieve them, and be motivated. This will be the most striking example of proper motivation for your children!
Try to act individually, look for ways of motivation that are suitable specifically for your situation. At the same time, do not forget to respect the interests, desires, and aspirations of your children. And be sure to tirelessly show them your love!
Types of extrinsic motivation
Blackmail/ignoring
Parents love to put pressure on the child’s guilt, threatening that they will not communicate, love, or be friends until the child does something. The method is effective, but negative. Plus, the child quickly begins to use it himself. If you don’t learn your lessons, I’ll be banned from using a smartphone, if you get a bad grade, you’ll sit at home all weekend, and so on. Such threats destroy trust in a relationship and create tension.
Promise of gifts
Once you get an A in all subjects, I’ll buy you a new tablet! What if you don’t get it in all subjects? What if he tries and gives his best, but one of the teachers did not appreciate him and gave him a 4? Motivation will completely disappear in the future. Motivating with gifts for future achievements is the wrong method of education.
Gifts for success in your favorite business
Surprisingly, if you replace internal motivation (the pleasure of doing your favorite activity) with external motivation (rewarding the result with a gift), then children often lose interest in their favorite activity. The child does what he likes for the soul, without expecting rewards for every picture he draws in the album. But if he has achieved some significant result (for example, his work took a prize), you can always celebrate such an event with the whole family, showing how happy you are with his achievements.
Money for good grades and help around the house
Another incorrect method of reward is paying for academic success or for doing household chores. This is a short-term method. Money cannot improve a child's intellectual abilities or instill a love of cleaning. Parents do housework without getting paid for it. Each family member should have some of their own household responsibilities within their capabilities. Every person wants to live in cleanliness and order, eat delicious food, and wear washed clothes. And such responsibilities can be shared with the child. After all, even a preschooler can be taught to throw things into the washing machine, pour in a little powder and start the wash.
Comparison
Often parents like to compare their children with other children or with themselves at their age. Everyone has different abilities, temperaments and life chances. By comparing your child to someone else, you seem to devalue him in your eyes.
