Development of communication skills in preschool children

Effective socialization of a child determines his success in life. The social and personal development of preschoolers and all the tasks associated with it have always been relevant, but they are especially important now, when the amount of information is off the charts, and the exchange of it is very fast. In order not to get confused and find oneself, every person needs help in early preschool age, when his personality is being formed.

Communicative development is an important element of a child’s socialization

Parents mostly rely on various preschools to help children learn the basics of life in modern society. It is very important to use effective techniques that can develop the communication skills of each child in the best possible way.

About communication and communication skills

Communication has several definitions. In psychology it is called communication, that is, information exchange in living organisms. This process is complex and multifaceted and involves establishing contacts between people and their development. Such communication is also called interpersonal or intergroup depending on the number of its participants.

Communication allows the child to express his opinions, feelings, ideas, and understand the meaning of what was said to him or done to him.

Communication skills are also called effective communication skills. They include the ease of establishing contacts with individuals and entire groups, the ability to maintain a conversation, negotiate, and defend their legal rights. Communication skills also include syntonic communication, that is, neutral, friendly, non-conflicting.

Communication skills in every person should be developed from childhood. Communication shapes personality and allows, thanks to other people, to know and appreciate oneself.

In preschool children, communication is represented by several successive stages:

The situational-personal stage is observed at the age of 2-4 years and is characterized by emotional-practical interaction. The partner is the child’s peer.
The situational-business stage is typical for the age of 4-6 years. Situational business communication in this phase is represented mainly by gaming activities.
The extra-situational-business phase of communication occurs at the age of 6-7 years and is characterized by the appearance of extra-situational lines, when the content of communication and the visual situation are separated, and constant but selective preferences are formed.

Basic techniques for developing communication skills

From the point of view of psychology, communication abilities are the leading of all inherent in a person. They can and should be improved using techniques for developing communication skills.

Listen more.

It is impossible to build a competent dialogue without paying attention to what the interlocutor says. Very often people forget about the person with whom they are talking; they are used to talking only about themselves and their problems. It is difficult to communicate with such people, because they strive to express their opinions and can interrupt.

If you recognize yourself in these lines, don’t worry. Even this habit can be overcome.

The first rule is to listen carefully to your interlocutor and express your opinion only if the opponent himself asks for it. Think less about yourself and more about who you are talking to. This will show your interest and respect.

By listening carefully to your interlocutor, you can easily build a further dialogue strategy. To make the conversation more interesting, you need to correctly ask questions that require extended answers.

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Take your gifts!

Don’t drag out your monologue: brevity is the sister of talent.

If you stretch out your answer too much, you may lose the interlocutor’s interest and desire to communicate further. In this case, you deprive yourself of the chance to hear the other participant in the conversation.

Work on your acting skills.

A person who has well-developed communication skills can easily change social roles. He is charming, relaxed and not afraid to show true eloquence. By developing acting communication skills, you simultaneously improve your oratory abilities and become as communicative as possible. It doesn’t matter where, with whom or in what mood you meet the actor, he will smile at you and tell you anything in rich colors.

Use of non-verbal means of communication.

Psychologists have proven that body language can say more than verbal means. By competently changing the tone, intonation, using gestures, you can convey your idea much easier and more clearly. For example, emotional speech looks more lively than monotonous phrases, and evokes positive emotions in the interlocutor (of course, if the message of the conversation is positive).

During a conversation, it is useful to change the tone of your voice, monitor your body movements, adjusting them depending on the response.

Features of the formation of communication skills in preschool children

Preschool age is characterized by a change in the nature of interaction. This is expressed by an expanded understanding of the partner’s skills and abilities, and interest in previously unnoticed aspects of his personality. As a result, a more holistic view of oneself develops and the personality stabilizes.

For preschoolers, the help and empathy of an adult is extremely important. At this age, the child is especially sensitive to negative evaluation and disrespectful attitude towards him. Preschoolers intensively develop and comprehend ethical concepts; the most important source of knowledge is an adult. If his assessment and the child’s self-esteem diverge, then this causes anxiety.

The level of development of a preschooler’s communication abilities shows his psychological readiness for school.

Effective communication is called when the following factors are present:

desire to interact with other people;
knowledge of norms and rules of conduct;
perception of social roles in society;
the ability to communicate, listen, perceive emotions and signals from other people, including those sent unconsciously;
resolution of any conflicts in communication.

Not only the social side of his development, but also the formation of mental processes – speech, memory, thinking – depends on the level of a child’s communication skills. There is a direct proportionality between the development of mental processes and the effectiveness of further adaptation in society.

When developing a child’s communication skills, success depends on following the following rules:

the interests of the child are the starting point for activities and communication with him;
the child must have partners for communication;
the child must be given time to respond;
encourage the child to express his desires rather than predict them;
Show your child the value and benefits of communicating with him psychologically and emotionally.

Directions and tasks of social and communicative development of preschool children

There is a state standard that determines the directions of development of preschool children:

Social and communicative development.
Cognitive development.
Speech development.
Artistic and aesthetic development.
Physical development.

Tasks of socio-communicative development - an expanded definition
In combination, they develop the social and communicative abilities of preschool children, the desire and ability to interact based on a positive perception of their peers.

This is quite complex work, which begins with the child recognizing himself as part of a large organism of society, perceiving himself and his interlocutor as separate and self-sufficient units (subjects) of communication.

Having realized this, the child learns to express his thoughts and emotions using different means: visually, verbally, through gestures and facial expressions. Children realize that they communicate with each other in the same language (in every sense), which helps to deepen mutual understanding.

After this, preschoolers are introduced to more complex norms of behavior and life in human society (the presence of certain roles in relationships, professions, etc.).

Communication in the family is the first stage of social and communicative development

Since all this happens in the form of various games, children accept new information easily and naturally. A whole system of game exercises has been developed, which includes:

individual sessions;
group work;
integrated exercises.

This activity allows children to develop the desire and ability to cooperate, share experiences, interact in a team, easily express their thoughts and solve various problems. Games stimulate thinking, cognitive, research, visual, constructive and many other types of activities necessary for the development of a successful personality.

In kindergarten, children learn to communicate with peers

Games help preschoolers eliminate communication problems, process psychological blocks, and help express their thoughts and emotions in a constructive form that is useful to the whole group.

Objectives of communicative education of preschool children

Communicative education of preschoolers is a multifaceted process. Several of its main tasks should be highlighted:

to internalize the norms and values of society, including moral and ethical ones;
develop communication and interaction between the child and his peers, adults;
to form independence, purposefulness and self-regulation of one’s own actions;
develop social and emotional intelligence, emotional responsiveness, empathy;
to form respect and awareness of belonging to one’s family and society;
create a positive attitude towards work and creativity;
lay the foundations for safe behavior in society and everyday life;
prepare for joint activities with peers.

The main task of the communicative development of preschoolers is to encourage the child to communicate. It is the basis of various types of activities.

When developing communication skills at any age, it is important to perform the following tasks:

easy establishment of contacts and the ability to maintain them;
making the desired impression on the opponent;
the ability to explain one’s position;
the ability to defend one's opinion.

Communication development methods

The development of communication is carried out using different methods. They are visual, verbal and practical.

Visual methods are divided into two subgroups:

Direct observation. It can be carried out through various excursions and nature trips.
Indirect observation. This method is also called visual clarity. The child looks at toys and pictures and makes up stories based on them.

Verbal communication methods include the following elements:

a story without visual material;
reading fiction, retelling;
learning by heart;
conversation for generalization.

Practical methods of communication are represented by didactic games and exercises, dramatizations, round dance games, plastic sketches, and dramatization games.

Communication means

There are several means of communication. They can be divided into two large groups - verbal and non-verbal.

Verbal means of communication are represented by words and expressions, that is, speech. Speech is one of the most important methods of communication. Speech activity is represented not only by speaking and listening, but also by writing and reading, that is, the ability to record information on paper and perceive data recorded in this way.

Nonverbal means of communication are characterized by intonation, facial expressions, gestures, gaze, pictures, photographs, and various objects. From the point of view of psychology, it is nonverbal methods of communication, which are also called non-speech, that are extremely important. It has been proven that people trust nonverbal signs of communication more than words, since they are more informative and truthful.

Ways to develop communication skills in preschool children

There are various ways to develop communication skills in preschoolers.

Games

One of the effective ways is play, which is the main activity in preschool age. In a playful way, children perceive and assimilate information better and feel more natural and at ease.

The following games are effective for developing communication skills:

Train . An adult or one of the children plays the role of a train, and the rest are carriages. The engine says to everyone in turn: “Hello, I’m the engine (name).” The carriage greets and also introduces itself. The engine invites him to go together, and the carriage agrees. This is how the whole train assembles. After each acquaintance, you can make a small circle. Those who join say “chug-chug”, and the engine says “tu-tu” before meeting the new carriage. If the train is a child, then everyone should take turns playing this role.
Guess by voice . The guys should stand around the driver, who is blindfolded. They move in a circle with the words: “We’re doing a round dance, all the people are having fun, try to guess who will call the name.” At this time, the leader gives one of the children a sign and he calls the name of the leader, who must guess who called him. If he guesses right, the child who named the name becomes the leader.
Seven-flowered flower . You need to make a flower whose petals can be torn off - their number should be equal to the number of children. Each child tears off one petal and makes a wish out loud that others can grant, for example, asking someone to hop on one leg or show them an animal.
Animal choir . To do this, you can choose any children's song that all children know. It should be sung not in words, but imitating various animals - “quack-quack”, “meow-meow”, “moo-moo-moo”. Each child portrays a specific animal and sings part of the song, and everyone finishes it together.
Ocean is shaking . Children stand up randomly, leaving enough free space between themselves. The presenter says: “The sea worries once, the sea worries two, the sea worries three – the sea figure freezes.” Each child must draw a figure, and the leader guesses what or who it is.
Give a compliment . Children should stand in a chain or circle. Each child, in turn, should give his neighbor some kind of compliment, while the children should look each other in the eyes. You can only say good things, you cannot repeat yourself. The person who is given a compliment should thank the person who gave it and say that he is pleased.
Kingdom of Mirrors . For this game, one leader is selected, and the rest of the children stand around him. They play the role of mirrors. The presenter shows various emotions in turn, and the “mirrors” must repeat them.
Mousetrap . For this game, one leader is also selected to play the role of a mouse. The others stand tightly around him, hugging each other. The mouse's task is to escape from the mousetrap by finding a loophole or persuading someone to make one.
Compote . To do this, you need a large circle - a hoop, a pattern on the floor, a rope rolled into a ring. Children should stand around this circle. Each child depicts a fruit. The host is the cook. He names a fruit, and the child representing it must jump into a circle. You can diversify the game. Let each child, as he jumps into a circle, say a few sentences about the fruit he represents, for example: “I am an apricot. I’m orange, I grow on a tree, and I have a bone inside me.”
Princess Nesmeyana. A leader is selected who will be the princess. He must portray despondency, and the rest need to make Nesmeyana laugh. You can tell something funny, use facial expressions and gestures. Whoever makes the princess laugh first becomes the host.
Finding the ball . One leader is selected, the rest of the children stand tightly around him. Everyone puts their hands behind their backs and passes each other the ball, which the host should not see. The presenter's task is to guess by facial expression who has the ball in his hands. When he guesses correctly, the child with the ball becomes the leader.
Newspaper . You need to take a regular newspaper and spread it on the floor. All children stand on this newspaper. Then it is folded in half, then in half again, and so on until all the children can fit on it. During the game, children need to make maximum contact, stand close together, and support each other.
Conversation through glass . One leader is selected and stands opposite the rest of the children. You need to imagine that it is behind thick glass that does not allow sounds to pass through. He must say something silently and accompany it with gestures and facial expressions. The rest need to guess what he says. The first person to guess becomes the leader.
Broken phone . Children sit down or stand in a chain. The first person turns and speaks a word into the neighbor’s ear, and he must repeat it to the next person in the chain. The last child in the chain says this word loudly. Often it differs from the initial version. Then the last child becomes the leader. You can make this a team game. Commanders choose a common word and pass it along their chain. The winner is the team whose word at the end is correct or most similar to the initial version. The main rule of the game is to speak quickly and in your ear so that others do not hear.
Hot and cold . A presenter is selected and must leave the room. At this time, the rest hide some object. The presenter comes in and must find this item. If he moves further away, they say “cold”; if he comes closer, they say “warmer”. When the presenter is very close, they say “hotly.”
Brook . Children should stand in a chain and hold each other by the waist or shoulders. It is necessary, without breaking the chain, to go through various obstacles - go through a swamp, jumping over bumps, crawl through a low cave (under the table).
Waif . One leader is selected, the rest sit so that they can see each other. The presenter says: “Attention! The child is lost." Then he describes the lost child - boy or girl, height (tall or short), hair color, color of clothing, its features (picture on a T-shirt, frill on a skirt). The rest need to guess who we are talking about. The first one to guess becomes the leader.
Guess what . A leader is selected who makes a wish for an object. The rest ask him leading questions (live, edible, hard, red, etc.). The presenter answers yes or no. Whoever guesses the item first becomes the leader. The game can be simplified by limiting the puzzled objects to toys located within this room or on the table.
Fox and hares . One child plays the role of a fox, and the rest play the role of hares. All the hares stand against one wall. When the music turns on, the hares run in the middle of the room, when it turns off, the fox jumps out, and the hares must run away from it to the wall. The hare, who did not have time to escape from the fox, becomes one himself.
Guess the fairy tale . Children should be divided into two groups. Each one takes turns depicting a short fairy tale that is well known to everyone, but does not utter words - you can move, use gestures, facial expressions. The second team's task is to guess faster. You can time who can guess the fairy tale faster, or choose the smartest person in each team.
Beautiful blade of grass . One leader is selected, and the rest of the children represent blades of grass. They raise their arms up, stretch towards the sun, sway in the wind, periodically freezing when the wind subsides (an adult comments on the actions). The presenter needs to choose the most beautiful blade of grass that will replace him.
The Dragon . Children need to stand in a line. The first person is the head of the dragon, and the last is the tail. The dragon's head must catch its tail, which keeps running away. The chain remains unbroken during the game. When the head catches the tail, it itself becomes the tail, and the second child in the chain becomes the head. You need to play until everyone plays both roles.

All children should be involved in any game. If a leader is to be chosen, then each child should be the leader in turn. Adults need to make sure that all children participate. If for some reason one of the children is not chosen, then you need to help him, but do it gently and unobtrusively.

Exercises

For such exercises, various pictures and a board on which they can be attached are used. If there are several children, then they should do the exercise in turns, and the rest observe and, with permission, can advise.

Tasks can be as follows:

Choose a picture depicting a person with a certain emotion and tell a short story, for example: “This is Petya. He's sad because he lost his ball." The adult should ask how he can help Petya, and the narrator and the other children offer their options.
You need to divide the board into two halves and mark it with “+” and “-” signs. You need to take turns calling the children to the board and showing several pictures. The child must choose a good and a bad option, but with the same direction - for example, a crying and laughing girl, a whole and a broken vase. From these pictures you can make up a short story.
You need to attach an illustration of the proverb to the board. The child must listen to several proverbs and choose the option that matches the picture. You need to explain the meaning of the proverb and your choice.
You need to attach several pictures to the board. The child's task is to place them in order and compose a story.

It is useful to use a variety of works of art. It's better to start with small fairy tales. You need to read the fairy tale to the children and then discuss it with them. Particular attention should be paid to the actions of the heroes, focusing on good deeds. It is necessary to talk about the negative aspects - we need to discuss with the children why this cannot be done.

It is useful to learn fairy tales by role. You can use additional props; it is important to actively use facial expressions and gestures.

If a child has difficulty in any action, it is necessary to help him. In this case, it is necessary not to carry out the task for him, but to push him to the right decision with the help of leading questions and hint words. You need to start with the simplest elements, gradually complicating the task.

Text of the book “Personal and communicative competence of a modern preschooler”

Tatyana Avdulova, Guzeliya Khuzeeva Personal and communicative competence of a modern preschooler: A textbook

Reviewers:
E. Yu. Uvarina,

Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Senior Researcher

N. V. Golubeva,

Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Researcher

Introduction

One of the main conditions and factors for the successful socialization of children in kindergarten and preparation for school is the formation of communicative and moral competence in the space of interaction of the child with peers and with adults. Modern primary school education, in the context of the implementation of federal state standards of the new generation, confronts teachers with the task of personal, social, moral and spiritual development of the child, focusing on the formation of communicative competence, moral feelings, emotional responsiveness, understanding and empathy for other people, the development of cooperation skills and citizenship . However, specific ways of developing communicative competence and personal competence in school conditions remain insufficiently developed.

The moral development of personality and the formation of communicative competence are directly related to each other, stem from common sources, and are imbued with common mechanisms. Morality arises from people's interaction with each other, socialization and focus on the other person. Communication is based on accepting each other, observing the rules of prosocial interaction and developing social motives. Morality reflects a holistic system of views on social life. Communicative competence is a semantic aspect of social interaction.

The relevance of solving the problems of communicative and moral development of older preschoolers is enhanced by issues of interethnic interaction in educational institutions, when various social, cultural and moral systems come into contact with each other in children’s interpersonal relationships, cooperation and play interaction. The task is also determined by the objective growth of individualism in ideology, which requires the identification of additional, supporting mechanisms of communicative and moral development that strengthen the internal regulation of the individual against the backdrop of weakening external, social control.

In the competency-based approach, personality development is understood as an extremely complex and multi-level process, the conditions of which lie in the planes of pedagogical influence, psychological support, social regulation, family relationships and are realized in the cognitive, emotional and social development of the child. Moral development includes the formation of moral thinking, moral decentration, the appropriation of moral models, the formation of value orientations and ethical emotions. Communicative competence includes the formation of the ability to cooperate and coordinate different positions, the ability to understand different opinions and expectations, set the goal of communication and achieve results, the ability to negotiate and use various strategies for resolving conflict situations.

Currently, little attention is paid to the communicative and moral development of preschool children. Most often, peer relationships are built spontaneously. In modern society, children have less and less access to free communication with peers. Children are rarely specially trained, shown how to communicate correctly and effectively with peers, what norms and values of communication to follow. Practice shows that a child of senior preschool age experiences the greatest difficulties in the area of communication and interaction with peers. This manifests itself in increased anxiety, aggression, inability to come to an agreement, to see the characteristics of a peer, the inability to carry out joint activities, and lack of formed value orientations.

An alarming signal is the fact that a large number of preschoolers prefer communication with a computer to real communication and joint play with peers. Research shows that 40% of modern preschoolers, when asked “What games do you like to play most?” They answer that they prefer computer games.

What underlies the formation of communicative and moral competence of preschool children, what are the means of diagnosis and development? We will answer these questions in our work. Of course, this is only one way to understand this problem. Issues of communicative and moral development of modern preschoolers require close attention and further comprehensive development.

Section 1 Theoretical aspects of communicative competence

1.1. Communicative activity of children in preschool age as the basis for the formation of communicative competence

Communication activity is crucial in the mental development and in the process of socialization of a preschool child.

In the studies of M. I. Lisina, E. O. Smirnova, communication

is defined as a special type of activity (
communicative activity
) that has its own specific structural components: needs, subject, motives and means.

In developmental psychology, three main areas of study of communication can be distinguished.

First

direction of research is aimed at identifying
the importance of communication in mental development
at different stages of ontogenesis. For example, within the framework of this area, the phenomenon of hospitalism was studied. Numerous studies of this phenomenon have shown that lack of communication leads to disruption of all aspects of development: physical, mental, social.

Second

the direction studies
the conditions and factors influencing communication at different stages of ontogenesis
. For example, we study how the style of communication between an adult and a child influences the formation and development of his need for communication. Also, within the framework of this direction, the phenomenon of popularity in a peer group is studied as a result of successful communication. Here it becomes clear which factors contribute and which prevent the child from fully communicating and achieving a high status among peers.

Third

direction of research is studying
the characteristics of the development of communication at each stage of development.
Traditionally, the development of communication is considered along several main lines. This is communication with adults and communication with peers in childhood.

Let us dwell on the description of these directions in more detail.

The importance of communication in mental development

Communication influences the development of all aspects of mental development. First of all, communication affects the development of the cognitive sphere (the development of higher mental functions), the emotional well-being of a person and self-knowledge and knowledge of the laws of relationships between people. If the importance of communication in the cognitive and emotional sphere decreases with age, then communication in the process of learning oneself and social reality throughout life does not lose its importance.

In Russian psychology, communication was considered, on the one hand, as a condition for the development of higher mental functions (L. S. Vygotsky), on the other hand, communication was considered as a special type of activity necessary for knowing oneself and others (M. I. Lisina).

Within the framework of the cultural-historical concept of L. S. Vygotsky, communication is considered as one of the necessary conditions for the formation of higher mental functions

.
According to the law of the formation of higher mental functions, a person is born with a natural psyche, the distinctive features of which are spontaneity, unconsciousness, and involuntariness. Higher mental functions, which are distinguished by arbitrariness, awareness, and mediation, are formed as a result of the appropriation of cultural and historical experience and go through two stages. For the first time, from the point of view of L. S. Vygotsky, HMFs appear in terms of interaction between an adult and a child, that is, in terms of communication. An adult is a bearer of cultural and historical experience. The second time HMFs appear on the internal plane, that is, they become part of a person’s consciousness. Communication, according to L. S. Vygotsky, involves not only the influence of an adult as a bearer of a sign function, but also the child’s attitude to the surrounding reality. L. S. Vygotsky defines the system of significant relationships of the child with the surrounding reality at each age stage as a social situation of development
.
In each age period, L. S. Vygotsky believes, there is its own special social development situation, which, in his opinion, determines the nature of communication and interaction between a child and an adult. Thus, communication is considered as a necessary condition for the development of the cognitive sphere
(L. S. Vygotsky, M. I. Lisina, J. Piaget and others).

Numerous foreign and domestic studies prove that communication plays a huge role in the emotional sphere

person. First of all, these are studies studying children who, for one reason or another, experienced deprivation of the need for communication. The concept of hospitalism was introduced by the Austro-American psychoanalyst R. Spits in 1945, who studied its causes, manifestations and consequences in infants who had been in hospitals for a long time. R. Spits noted a special condition in children deprived of maternal communication, calling it “anaclitic depression”; its symptoms were sadness, withdrawal, unresponsiveness, lethargy, and loss of appetite. Thus, M.I. Lisina studied children in the first year of life who were in an orphanage. She proved that insufficient communication primarily affects the emotional sphere of the child. The emotional manifestations of children deprived of personal communication were poor and inexpressive; such children showed less accurate discrimination of adult emotions and a delay in differentiating positive and negative emotional impacts. Emotional development is also influenced by the nature of communication. Foreign studies show that children who were abused by adults experienced emotional problems later in life. Emotional connections with close adults in early childhood determine the degree of emotional well-being of the child, form attachment and a sense of basic trust or distrust in the world around him.

Communication influences emotional well-being throughout life, but is especially important early in life and throughout childhood.

Communication also plays a leading role in the process of knowing oneself and the laws of social reality (knowing other people, features of interaction, relationships between people).

M. I. Lisina considers communication as a certain independent type of activity and as a condition for the formation of personality as a whole. The purpose of communication, in her opinion, is to know oneself and to know other people. Interaction with other people is a central component of a child’s holistic attitude towards himself, towards other people, and towards the objective world as a whole (M. I. Lisina, I. V. Dubrovina, A. G. Ruzskaya, N. N. Avdeeva, M. G. Elagina, S. Yu. Meshcheryakova).

Thus, communication is crucial for the development of the cognitive sphere (development of higher mental functions), for the emotional well-being of a person and for self-knowledge and knowledge of the laws of relationships between people.

Conditions and factors for the development of communication

The development of communication depends on many conditions and factors. Various factors can both contribute to the development of communication and lead to violations in this area.

Within the framework of the activity approach, three characteristics of age are distinguished, which determine the direction of development of communication. These are social situations of development, leading activities and those qualitative changes in the psyche that appear at the end of the age period. Thus, in preschool age, the social situation of development, play and achievements of an early age influence the formation and development of extra-situational-cognitive and extra-situational-personal forms of communication.

Communication that is appropriate to the child’s age is itself the main condition for the success of the development of communicative activities in the future. Thus, the study of children who are brought up in orphanages or in boarding institutions indicates that deprivation of the need for communication leads to disruption of its development in the future

. Research by E. O. Smirnova, V. S. Mukhina, T. N. Schastnaya shows that children in situations of deprivation are unsuccessful in resolving conflicts, they are aggressive, and incapable of empathy. Such children do not know how to establish equal relationships with unfamiliar children, or adequately assess their qualities necessary for selective, friendly communication. M.I. Lisina argues that the lack of communication between a child and an adult leads to hypertrophy, overvaluation of this need, to the dependence of the child’s emotional well-being on the adult’s attitude towards him.

In psychology, there are many conditions and factors influencing the development of communication. The most studied of these is parenting style.

Many researchers point to the influence of the parenting style that parents adhere to in relation to their child. Parenting style influences all stages of a child's development. Features of family education became the subject of research by E. Erickson, I. Maccoby, J. Martin [11]. They identified two criteria, two aspects of parental functioning. This is parental demand

/ control (sometimes called permissiveness / restriction) and
parental acceptance
/ responsiveness.

Demanding/controlling

- this is the amount of demands and control undertaken by parents in relation to their children.

Acceptance/Responsiveness

is the extent to which parents are supportive and sensitive to their children's needs and are willing to provide love and praise when children meet their expectations.

Based on these two criteria, D. Baumrind [11] when studying preschoolers and their parents, identified three styles of family education: authoritative, authoritarian, liberal. In recent years, researchers have identified another type of functioning of parents with children - indifferent style or detached parental functioning.

Authoritarian communication style (high control and low acceptance)

: a restrictive parenting style, characterized by many rules and restrictions, requiring maximum compliance with the expectations of an adult, unconditional respect and obedience, without explanation and little sensitivity to the needs and prospects of the child.

Authoritative communication style (high control and acceptance)

: characterized by reasonable requirements, constantly implemented, with understanding and acceptance of the child.

Liberal communication style (low control, high acceptance)

: An accepting but casual parenting style in which adults set relatively few expectations, allow children to express themselves freely, do not supervise their activities, and rarely regulate their children's behavior.

Indifferent parenting style (low control and acceptance)

: The undemanding and careless approach of parents who either reject their children or do not have the time or energy to care for their children.

According to many authors, an authoritative parenting style is the most favorable. Children of authoritative parents demonstrate high levels of cognitive (originality of thinking, high achievement motivation, intellectual competition) and social development (sociable, friendly, active, leadership). Children of authoritarian parents showed average, and children of liberal parents showed low achievements in cognitive and social spheres. The advantages of children who were raised in an authoritative family persisted throughout primary school and adolescence. The least successful parenting style is the indifferent or detached type of parenting. Children need both love and boundaries to help them shape and evaluate their own behavior.

Child abuse in the first five years of life also negatively affects communication. G. Craig argues that children who have experienced abuse are in a system of broken relationships; their socialization is carried out through negative communication experiences in the absence of support. Such children tend to be less socially competent than those who have not had such experience.

For a long time, studies of human development were based on the fact that it is parents who influence the nature of communication with the child, that is, the influence goes in one direction, from parent to child. Proponents of this view argued that an authoritative parent ensures positive developmental outcomes. In contrast to this view, proponents of the child influence model argue that the influence of children on parents is greater than that of parents on children. The transactional model recognizes that although children's development depends on their parents, children also have the ability to influence their parents (both positively and negatively).

Brothers and sisters, that is, the presence of siblings, is also one of the factors in the development of communication. Communication between siblings is characterized by extreme frankness. The closer they are in age, the more intense their relationship. Siblings are usually connected by a strong attachment; in communication they help each other to assimilate social concepts and roles [11].

If, within the framework of psychoanalysis, special attention is paid to the nature of the child’s interaction with close adults in early childhood, then many foreign researchers consider the level of development of social cognition as one of the conditions determining the success of the development of communication. The most common theories of social cognition are the cognitive-evolutionary approach of J. Piaget and the theory of role analysis of Robert Selman.

J. Piaget believed that the development of social-cognitive abilities in children is associated with cognitive development in general, in particular with the development of decentration and generalization.

D. Schaeffer identifies several phases in the development of social cognition.

First

The developmental phase of social cognition lasts up to 7 years. Children under 7 years of age characterize familiar people using concrete, observation-based concepts.

Second

phase – phase of behavioral comparisons.
Starting from the age of 7, children use the language of concrete concepts less and less, moving on to psychological descriptions. The use of behavioral comparisons
is most common between 6 and 8 years of age, but declines rapidly after 9 years of age.

Third

phase – the phase of psychological constructs.
One of the results of the behavioral comparison process is
children’s awareness of the systematic behavior of the people around them.
Children begin to attribute stable psychological constructs
. Thus, a 10-year-old child who previously described his acquaintance as the one who drew the best in the class may now say that his acquaintance has excellent artistic ability.

During the period from 14 to 16 years, adolescents not only become aware of the characteristic similarities and differences between people, but also begin to understand that various situational factors

(illness, family conflicts) can prompt a person to express his character [11].

Social cognition develops from taking into account external characteristics of behavior to awareness of the internal characteristics of the individual; from awareness of individual aspects of behavior to the formation of a holistic, coherent idea of the individuality of another person.

According to R. Selman [11], children achieve a much more complete awareness of themselves and others if they have the ability to take the point of view of another. If a child has not yet acquired the skills to acquire a role, then when understanding another, he can only focus on external factors (appearance, specific actions). role-taking skills

associated with the need to accept the point of view of another, to understand the thoughts, feelings, motives and intentions of another.

One of the main conditions for the development of social cognition is human social experience. Social interactions, primarily equal contacts with peers, are of particular importance for social development. They contribute indirectly to the development of role-taking skills and provide experiences that improve understanding of other people. Thus, J. Piaget showed that play interaction between primary schoolchildren contributed to the development of role-taking skills and mature social judgments.

So, the main factors influencing the development of social cognition are cognitive development; the ability to understand the intentions and characteristics of another person; role taking skills; social experience.

Thus, the most studied conditions for the development of communication are such conditions as the style of education, the degree and characteristics of social cognition, and the social experience of a person.

The success of communication is determined using sociometric methods.

To understand the meaning and role of communication in mental development, it is necessary to know the features of communication at different stages of ontogenesis.

Features of communication development

Traditionally, during childhood, two main lines of development of communication are considered, which have different effects on the development and formation of a person’s personality. They distinguish between communication with adults and communication with peers (J. Piaget, W. Hartup, M. I. Lisina, E. O. Smirnova and others).

In psychology, the importance of communication with adults and communication with peers is considered differently. Thus, in Russian theory, in particular L. S. Vygotsky, believed that mental development is determined by communication with adults, while some foreign researchers, in particular J. Piaget, believe that communication with peers is of greater importance in the development of intelligence and moral development than communication with adults.

It is traditionally believed that adults, influencing children, represent power, strength, and knowledge of society.

W. Hartup [11] identifies two areas of relationships: vertical and horizontal.

In the vertical area, the child is provided with protection and security, an internal basic working model of communication, and knowledge of social norms of communication. Horizontal relationships are characterized by equality, social skills are acquired here, and a sense of well-being is ensured.

J. Piaget in his work “Moral Judgment” proved that if through communication with adults rules are set that the child is forced to accept ready-made, then through communication with peers the influence and control of elders is reduced, communication groups expand, the child learns to cooperate and build a system himself rules According to J. Piaget’s definition, peers are individuals who are currently operating at a similar level of behavioral complexity.

Thus, in childhood, communication has two main lines of development, which have different effects on the development and formation of a person’s personality. They distinguish between communication with adults and communication with peers (J. Piaget, W. Hartup, M. I. Lisina, E. O. Smirnova and others).

Let us take a closer look at the stages of development of communicative activity during the first seven years of life.

Features of the development of communication in infancy

All achievements of infancy (the development of movements, the prerequisites for the development of speech, the formation of basic trust, the development of curiosity, and others) are directly related to communication. Lack of communication, lack of responsiveness of an adult, ignoring a child and cruel treatment of him leads to disruption of communication with others and a lag in all aspects of physical, mental and social development.

M.I. Lisina believes that the attitude of adults towards a child as an individual is a decisive condition for the development of communicative activity.

Many foreign and domestic psychologists pay attention to the nature of the attitude of adults towards the child (personal attitude towards the child, emotional availability, adequate response of the mother to the needs and activity of the child, synchronicity of interaction between mother and child, nature of attachment and others).

From the point of view of foreign researchers, emotional communication and the type of parent-child relationship formed during the development of attachment in the first 2 years of life form the basis of all future relationships.

Security of attachment is considered one of the most important conditions for the development of communication. The author of attachment theory is J. Bowlby. Attachment is defined as an emotional bond that is formed between a child and his mother or caregiver. The quality of attachment is measured using the Strange Situation test proposed by M. Ainsworth. The main criteria for determining attachment M. Ainsworth identifies the reaction to the departure / return of the mother and the degree of cognitive activity. According to the authors of attachment theory, the nature of attachment that develops in the first 12 months of life determines the success of communication with adults and peers in the future. According to J. Bowlby and M. Ainsworth, emotional communication is two-way in nature.

Many researchers highlight the importance of synchronicity and harmony in the interaction between mother and child. They believe that synchronicity in action predicts strong relationships at one year of age and becomes the basis for more complex communications. Interdependence and signaling in infancy lay the foundation for stable patterns of interaction. S. Bell, M. Ainsworth (1972) studied the mother's reactions to the baby's crying. Typically, mothers who responded quickly and regularly to their infant's cries in the first few months of life had babies who cried less by the end of the first year and more quickly developed other ways of signaling their mothers.

E. Tronik [11] conducted numerous “stony-face experiments”, with the help of which he studied the mutual expectations of parents and young children. The emotional unavailability of an adult caused negative experiences in the child, although the adult was physically nearby. This experiment demonstrates the importance of emotional communication between parents and three-month-old infants.

Also, for the successful development of communication, a single or similar codification of messages is necessary. From birth, a newborn's sensory system is tuned to perceive the human face. Newborns are exceptionally receptive to the human face [11]. Children begin to recognize their mother's face early. It has been proven that babies as young as two weeks show a preference for their mother's face. J. Carpenter [11], using the preference method, presented each child with an image of the faces of the mother and a stranger. As early as 2 weeks, infants preferred to look at a familiar face. Another example that a child's perception is tuned from birth to the perception of the human face is their ability to imitate facial expression. Imitation occurs even in children 2–3 days old. The ability to gaze at a familiar face and imitate the facial expression of adults are important factors in the development of interactive skills.

Thus, the harmony and synchronicity of interaction

mother and child, which are determined by both the activity of the adult and the activity of the child, are one of the main conditions for the successful development of communication.

The need for communication, according to M. I. Lisina, is formed during life, that is, it is not innate and develops in the first two months of life on the basis of primary organic needs and the need for new impressions. The researcher identified four criteria

the formation of the need to communicate with adults and peers:

1. attention and interest in another person;

2. emotional attitude towards him;

3. the desire to attract the attention of another;

4. sensitivity to its effects.

Communication with adults, believes M. I. Lisina, is formed in the direction: from non-verbal to verbal, from situational to extra-situational. M. I. Lisina presented the development of communication with adults in children under 7 years of age as a change in several integral forms of communication, which differ:

– time of occurrence of this form;

– the content of the need for communication, satisfied

children during this form of communication;

– motives that stimulate communicative activity;

– means of communication with the help of which communicative activities are carried out.

In the first half of life, direct-emotional, or situational-personal communication between an infant and an adult develops. The basis of situational and personal communication is the satisfaction of the child’s need for the friendly attention of adults. The motives that prompt him to communicate are personal, that is, the child is not interested in the specific qualities of an adult, but in his presence and attention to him. The main means of communication are expressive and facial means, that is, components of the revitalization complex.

In the second half of the year, a situational business form of communication arises. This form of communication satisfies the child’s need for cooperation with an adult. The child is no longer satisfied with pure communication; he is interested in communication about objects, that is, the motives for communication are business. Means of communication are objective-active and locomotor.

Studies of infants have shown that their need to communicate with peers has not yet developed. E. O. Smirnova believes that the other child is perceived as an object, and not an interaction partner. Many studies have proven that the success of communication with adults in the first year of life determines the subsequent success of communication with peers. Thus, the nature of communication with peers is subsequently influenced by the nature of attachment formed in the first year of life. Popular children have secure attachments with adults.

Thus: Communication in the first year of life is a necessary condition for full mental development. It stimulates the development of the brain, influences the formation of movements, the emotional self-awareness of the child, and communication also determines the development of the prerequisites for speech.

• The main conditions for the development of communication are the adult’s attitude towards the child as an individual, the nature of the interaction between the adult and the child (degree of attachment, synchrony, etc.).

• The need for communication is not innate, but is formed in the first 2 months of life on the basis of physiological needs and the need for external impressions. During infancy, the child develops and replaces each other with two forms of communication: situational-personal and situational-business.

• The success of communication with adults in the first year of life determines the subsequent success of communication with peers.

Features of the development of communication at an early age

The existence of situational business communication determines the transition from manipulative actions to the mastery of objective actions, the appropriation of a socially developed method of action. Communication also determines the pace and quality of mastering the phonetics and grammar of the native language. In situational business communication with an adult, the child’s first words appear. In order to get the object of interest, the child must name it and pronounce the right word. The task of saying this or that word is set by an adult.

Common mistakes when developing communication skills

Many parents make the mistake of developing their child’s communication skills by minimizing communication with them. The parent asks formal questions and, having received answers, leaves the child to his own devices. As a result, he does not have a pattern of normal and productive communication.

Another erroneous model of adult behavior is the harsh suppression of a child’s personality. In this case, the opinion and interests of the preschooler are not taken into account. Severe punishments are often used, including physical ones; the child is insulted and humiliated. The consequences of this approach to education depend on the character of the child. If it is strong enough, then the behavior of adults can be perceived as the norm, which is fraught with aggressiveness with peers and a tendency to intimidate them. A weak-willed child will be broken by such an attitude, so he will begin to be secretive and ingratiate himself with adults.

When developing communication skills in a preschooler, adults make various mistakes. In accordance with them, several typical erroneous behavior patterns are identified:

The pride of the family. Parents consider the child exceptional, superior to his peers in everything. All his wishes are fulfilled, whims and mistakes are forgiven. The child becomes spoiled and grows up selfish.
Favorite. This pattern of behavior is typical for large families. The attitude towards the child is the same as in the previous case, but only on the part of one of the family members. As a result, there is a lack of love and attention from other family members, and the attitude of other children becomes negative and envious.
Poor Cinderella. This model of education is also typical for large families. From childhood, the child is given a secondary role, subordinating his life to another child who is considered more successful. This leads to envy and an inferiority complex.
Obedient child. The concepts of decent and indecent are instilled from birth. The child’s behavior must be subject to certain rules in order to show those around him that he is well-mannered. At the same time, the child’s opinion and interests are ignored, which is fraught with the risk of committing immoral and indecent acts in the future.
Blame for everything. The child causes irritation in everyone, he is blamed for any troubles, and misdeeds that he did not commit are appropriated. He becomes an outcast, intimidated, constantly afraid of discontent and punishment.
Crystal vase. This pattern of behavior is typical of families where the child has experienced a serious illness, serious trauma, or shock. His parents protect him from everything they consider dangerous. The child grows up without initiative, constantly expects concessions and believes that everyone owes him.
Problem child. He is overly hyperactive, very mischievous. Reprimands and punishments do not affect him. This is due to the fact that parents do not want to raise the child and do not pay enough attention to it.

Recommendations for overcoming communication barriers

Every person from childhood has certain communication patterns:

how to greet each other
how to ask another person for something,
how to refuse,
how to ask for forgiveness, etc.

In a situation of superficial communication with other people, these templates are quite enough to build effective communication, and no difficulties arise. However, if a non-standard communication situation arises, anxiety may arise as a result of difficulties in building the communication process.

Usually a person describes these situations with the words “I fell into a stupor,” “I just went numb,” “all the words flew out of my head.”

Later, after analyzing the situation, the person understands exactly how the communication situation should have been structured, how exactly it was necessary to behave, what to pay attention to and what exactly to say. It is in order to learn to overcome such situations that it is necessary to pay attention to the process of developing communication skills.

In order to overcome the situation of communication barriers, it is necessary to understand the reasons for their occurrence.

The most common reasons are:

shyness and, as a result, lack of ease in conversation, unnecessary pauses and the desire to end the conversation as quickly as possible;
fear of being misunderstood;
excessive attention to one’s appearance and the impression it makes on the interlocutor.