By the age of three, a little person often shows disobedience: he does not fulfill requests, screams, and throws tantrums. Parents throw up their hands in bewilderment, not knowing what to do in this situation: rush to calm the baby, scold, punish, ignore such behavior. A three-year-old child needs parental attention, and not only relationships in the family depend on how mom and dad behave, but also how their baby will grow up.
Crisis of three years
Poor behavior at the age of three is not always an indicator of a bad temperament or mood swings. In order to properly raise a child, parents must first figure out why he behaves this way. It is worth noting that at this age, boys and girls tend to be capricious and throw tantrums in the same way.
First you need to understand such a psychological term as frustration. This is a state of an adult or child when desires and needs cannot be fully satisfied. The baby grows up when he begins to realize that not all his desires are fulfilled. A sensitive, understanding parent will be able to immediately understand when a child’s hysteria is due to the fact that his “wants” are not being fulfilled. But a baby can be capricious for other reasons: physical illness, quarrels in kindergarten, misunderstanding on the part of the teacher, etc.
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What are the benefits of role-playing games?
What are the specific benefits of role-playing games? Let's start with the fact that any game for a child is a way of learning about the world, people and himself. Role-playing play allows you to develop communication skills, broaden your horizons, learn to defend your point of view and get out of conflict situations with dignity.
By trying on someone else's image and at the same time remaining himself, the child gains experience in social communication and forms his own character. Involving multiple children in role play promotes interaction, mutual understanding, and discipline.
What children play helps develop certain skills. Often, play becomes an indicator of a child’s condition or development. By repeating the behavior of adults or modeling a lived situation, a child builds his own model of behavior and character traits, displays temperament and develops social skills.
The one who gives unimaginable hairstyles to dolls and girlfriends is capable of becoming a talented hairdresser.
Boys who are interested in robots and construction kits often become engineers and IT specialists.
Therefore, role-playing is also a way for children to get to know themselves.
Why does a 3-4 year old child behave badly?
There can be many reasons for bad behavior. Child psychologists identify the main reasons that you should pay attention to.
- The child attracts the attention of adults. When parents are constantly busy and cannot devote time to the baby, he wants to attract attention by any means. Since a three-year-old does not yet know how to build a constructive dialogue, he begins to behave badly, be capricious, and cry. Let mom and dad scold me, but they’ll drop what they’re doing and take care of me.
- The baby is asserting itself. From about two years old, the baby begins to show independence. Surely moms and dads remember the endless repetition: “I myself,” “I myself.” Parents consider a three-year-old child to be small and try to take care of him in every possible way. And the three-year-old resists parental control, including through disobedience.
- The child takes revenge on his parents. Whims, hysterics, screams can be revenge for an insult caused by mom or dad. Parents may not even realize that they have hurt the baby. For example, my mother forced me to finish eating tasteless porridge, and my father took my tablet and forbade me from watching cartoons.
- Low self-esteem. If a child is disappointed in something, has lost faith in himself, he may behave aggressively and inappropriately.
Junior school age - the best psychological games and training features
The main goal of psychological training for preschool children is to work through mental problems and instill skills that allow them to independently overcome obstacles. Recommended elements of psychological games for children of primary school age:
- conducting exercises to stabilize the mental state and relaxation;
- role-playing games, which are carried out with special props (prepare equipment in advance according to the planned psychological training);
- acting techniques - the child must learn to take care of himself, show emotions, control behavior;
- For hyperactive children with depressive disorders, it is recommended to conduct art therapy to relieve the child of psychological discomfort.
The most important role in psychological games for younger schoolchildren is played by therapy, which is aimed at eliminating difficulties with self-expression. If a child is unable to express his thoughts, reflections, experiences, the problem can only be eliminated through regular training, which should be accompanied by musical melodies. Music therapy is one of the most effective techniques that has a positive effect on the child’s psyche, calming and helping to control emotions.
Princess Nesmeyana
An interesting psychological role-playing game that a child will certainly enjoy. A chair is placed in the center of the room, on which one of the participants sits (determined by lot or simply assigned by agreement of all participants). He is given the title of “Princess Nesmeyana”, the task is to hold it for a long time.
The task of the other participants in the psychological training is to make Nesmeyana laugh or at least make the princess smile. The one who succeeds takes a chair and, in turn, tries not to laugh. Victory is awarded to the player who managed to resist provocation for a longer period of time and maintain a serious appearance.
Your favorite activity
This psychological game is recommended to be carried out in the first stages of classes - the training allows you to establish contact between new participants and get to know each other better. The psychologist calls the children one by one to the middle of the room and asks a question about their hobbies and favorite activities. It is forbidden to answer out loud - it is recommended to show everything using gestures and supplement your answers with facial expressions.
The task of the other participants in the psychological training is to try to guess what hobby the narrator is describing. The one who was the first to give the correct answer takes a place in the center of the room and continues the game, talking about his hobby.
Races with balloons
The exercise is recommended for all types of children - hyperactive and calm. Be sure to form teams in advance (there should be the same number of participants, preferably in pairs). The task of each participant is to, in pairs, alternately run with the balloon to the finish line, return back and pass the baton to the next pair. The main condition is that it is strictly forbidden to touch the ball with your hands; it should be held with any part of the body.
Victory is awarded to the team that was the first to complete the task - all pairs reached the finish line and returned back. Psychological play helps children learn to act in a team and establish contact in pairs.
What do parental restrictions lead to?
When adults forbid something to a child, they seem to draw a boundary to protect the child. Parental prohibitions perform a certain educational function. The baby learns to control his emotions and understand when to stop being capricious. Of course, children do not like when something is forbidden to them, so they can react with anger, scandals, and tears. But parental restrictions are necessary in order to properly raise a child. With defined boundaries, the baby will learn to be disciplined and feel that his parents really care about him.
Nowadays, there are often cases when adults allow children almost everything. This is due, first of all, to the fact that in childhood, parents were forbidden a lot. The child grows and begins to realize that with the help of manipulation you can get whatever you want. As a rule, a person who was allowed a lot in childhood grows up childish, unable to make independent decisions, and capricious.
The other extreme is a large number of prohibitions on the part of adults. In this case, the person will grow up to be dependent, timid, and will seek the approval of mom and dad all his life.
To avoid mistakes in parenting, adults need to understand that prohibitions must have a strong justification. The child must be explained why something is forbidden to him, and what consequences can be expected if he does not obey. Parental prohibitions can be divided into two main categories.
- Conscious prohibitions. Mom or dad, by forbidding something to a child, thereby protect him from negative consequences. For example, you shouldn’t go outside in winter without a hat, otherwise you might catch a cold. This also includes prohibitions that form discipline and obedience.
- Unconscious prohibitions. The reason for unconscious prohibitions can be the personal experiences of an adult: “We won’t go to the amusement park because you didn’t listen to me and didn’t do what I asked you to do.” Parents may also prohibit their children from doing something because of their own envy. If they didn’t have enough toys and sweets in childhood, they will unconsciously project their childhood grievances onto their own kids. Also, the basis for unconscious prohibitions can be increased anxiety for children. For example, a baby wants to get a puppy. There is nothing wrong with his desire. On the contrary, a four-legged friend will give the baby a lot of joy, teach him to care and love. But the mother refuses her son or daughter because she is afraid that the dog may offend the child, because of it the baby will have an allergic reaction, etc.
If parents forbid something to a three or four year old, it should not be done with condemnation. Prohibitions should not make the child feel guilty and ashamed. For educational purposes, you should not prohibit your child from playing with his favorite toys or watching cartoons. When prohibiting something, be sure to explain why you are doing this. Only through dialogue can the desired results be achieved.
Main types of psychological games and their features
Games can be business, positional, innovative, organizational-training, training, organizational-thinking, organizational-activity and others. But still, there are several main types of psychological games.
Game shells. In this type of game, the game plot itself is the general background against which developmental, correctional and psychological problems are solved. Such activities contribute to the development of basic mental properties and personality processes, as well as the development of reflection and self-reflection.
Living games. In living games, there is an individual and joint exploration of the gaming space with a group of people, the building of interpersonal relationships within it and the comprehension of personal values. This type of games develops the motivational aspect of a person’s personality, his system of life values, and personal criticality; allows you to independently build your activities and relationships with others; expands ideas about human feelings and experiences.
Drama games. Drama games contribute to the self-determination of their participants in certain situations and the improvement of value and semantic choice. The motivational sphere, the system of life values, readiness to make choices, the ability to set goals, and planning skills develop. Features of reflection and self-reflection are formed.
Project games. Project games influence a person’s mastery and comprehension of instrumental tasks that are associated with the construction of activities, the achievement of specific results and the systematization of the system of business relationships with others. The skills of goal setting, planning and the ability to adapt actions to specific conditions are developed. Self-regulation skills are formed, personal criticism and the ability to relate one’s actions to the actions of other people develop.
The types of psychological games presented above can be used both independently and used in conjunction with others. The descriptions we give are the most general and give only a superficial idea of psychological games.
Now we move on to the most interesting block – the games themselves. Next, we will consider some of the most popular and effective games, and their benefits in human development and life.
Behavior of children of different temperaments
Adults notice that children of the same age can react differently to the same words from their parents. Some will start crying, some will listen calmly, and some will throw a huge tantrum. In fact, each child needs an individual approach, because all people (even the smallest) are different, with their own temperament and character. If you find an approach to a child based on his temperament, you can cope with even the most capricious and problematic children.
If the same approach in education is applied to all children, this is fraught with serious psychological problems in the future. The child will behave inappropriately, show aggression, and personality degradation may occur in the future. The method of our grandparents, when all children could be whipped with a belt and put in a corner, does not work.
Authoritarian, despotic parents do not even try to hear their child, but practically remake him for themselves, breaking his fragile psyche. A person who was abused, humiliated, or beaten by his parents as a child is likely to be addicted to alcohol, nicotine, or illicit drugs. It is difficult for such people to find a common language with others; their personal lives often do not work out.
By the age of 3-4 years, the baby is already beginning to develop his own temperament. Psychologists separate the concepts of “temperament” and “character”. Temperament is a type of behavior that is inherent in a person from birth by nature, and character is formed through upbringing.
There are four types of temperament:
- melancholic;
- sanguine people;
- choleric people;
- phlegmatic.
Temperaments are practically never found in their pure form. Usually in a person there is a mixture of several types, for example, 80% choleric and 20% sanguine. Babies with different types of prevailing temperament react differently to the same situation. The differences are especially noticeable in cases where children do not get what they want.
Melancholic people
Such children require special attention to their person. They react sharply to any comments, and raising their voice at them is tantamount to physical punishment. Melancholic people are very sensitive, they are easily offended and hurt. Under no circumstances should such children be shamed in front of strangers. For melancholic people, even just being among a large number of children and adults is a serious test. That is why adaptation to kindergarten is difficult and painful for them. There is no need to demand any outstanding results; it is enough that the baby is surrounded by strangers.
Sanguines
As a rule, children with a dominant sanguine temperament do not cause parents any special problems. They are almost always in a good mood, without mood swings. If a child is upset about something, he will not throw tantrums and lie on the floor. He interacts well with other children in a group, loves active games, and has no problems sleeping, which has a beneficial effect on the state of the nervous system.
One of the disadvantages of sanguine children is that they are quite cunning. If the baby does not want to do what is asked of him, he will not do it. The main mistake parents make is that they take their child’s word for it and follow his lead. If you ignore this nuance, the baby will grow up to be a deceiver. Parents should raise a sanguine person calmly, without shouting or reproaches, but the child must fulfill their wishes and demands. Also, you should not over-praise the baby, otherwise he may catch the “star” disease. You need to praise for actions and actions, and not just like that.
Very interesting: Is it possible to deceive children: the opinion of psychologists
Cholerics
Always active, running somewhere, grasping at any task, but also quickly giving up. They are highly emotional and often have problems falling asleep. It is very important to raise a choleric child correctly, otherwise he may grow up to be an unbalanced, angry person. The main mistakes of parents:
- aggressive attitude;
- overprotection.
When a little choleric person gets angry and starts playing pranks and destroying the whole house, you need to try to remain calm and not raise your voice. You shouldn’t put pressure, force, or impose your opinion. It is advisable to agree on some things in advance and discuss prohibitions.
Phlegmatic people
Children are not only active and noisy, but also calm and balanced. Phlegmatic people are slow, thoughtful, and love to sleep for a long time and laze in bed. Phlegmatic children perceive information well if it is presented by example. Parents need to be actively involved in raising a phlegmatic child, otherwise he will remain inert.
Parents need to be sensitive and attentive when raising their children.
They must be able to distinguish the reasons why the baby does not listen, and take action in time. Every day, mom and dad build trusting and warm relationships with their children, although sometimes this is difficult. If you take into account the baby’s temperament, educational moments and communication will be much easier for all family members. leave a comment
Karpman triangle
It is also important to say a few words about the Karpman triangle, which was a continuator of the ideas of Eric Berne. He also talks about a game, only subconscious, which describes the connection between the three main problems in relationships between people
According to this point of view, all the roles that underlie human games can be reduced to three main ones - Rescuer, Victim of Persecution and Persecutor of the Guilty. These roles are combined into a triangle, which symbolizes their inextricable connection and replacement of each other.
“The three roles in this game - victim, pursuer and rescuer - are actually a simplification of real life. Each person sees himself as a generous rescuer of an ungrateful or grateful victim, a persecutor of infidels and a victim of evil persecutors. Immersion in any of these roles causes a person to begin to ignore reality, like an actor who knows that he is living a fictional life, but continues to “believe” in its authenticity in order to create a good performance.”
